What did you say?

Jan 6, 2010 – I had my calendar review today. Can you say overwhelming? The details of everything I have to remember and do is scary. I started to freak out. M and I had a conversation on the way into our appointment this morning about our fears, etc. I told him I was wavering on our decision to do IVF. He asked if I wanted another child. I said a resounding “yes.” He asked if I wanted to give birth to that child. This time my answer was “preferably.” But the reality is I would love to adopt. Yes, I want to give birth to my own child, but if I can’t, and very probably even if I can adoption is a great option. I asked him the same questions and for the first time he indicated adoption was something he really wanted to do. Ultimately, we decided we are going to go ahead with the IVF simply because if we don’t we know we will regret it in the future. We need to know that we did everything we could.

In my appointment today I asked the IVF coordinator what our chances were of success. She said that with my age and our factors, etc. we have a 67% chance of success. Really? I thought it was maybe a 50% chance. This is much higher than I ever expected. To add to this yesterday my acupuncturist told me that these treatments will increase my chance my 18% according to clinical studies. That means we have a combined chance of 85%! Be still my heart. My hopes of success just went through the roof!!

This whole time I have been trying to keep my hopes under control and today they just soared. I was trying to keep my hopes in check in order to keep myself from falling apart if it doesn’t work. But I am having trouble doing that now. Oops!