Hmmm…..What was it you all have been waiting for?

Oh yes, you are waiting for my Beta results. Well, I have been testing. I said I wouldn’t. I swore to myself I wouldn’t put myself what I went through last time. But I couldn’t resist I simply had to know.

Here are my 1st few tests;

Yep you saw that right, I even got a positive on a digi! Whoo Hoo! It was actually pretty funny, because I was being pretty sneaky with my testing so that M wouldn’t know. If it was positive I was going to surprise him with a onesie that said “Daddy’s Little Squirt.” But yesterday he asked if I had been testing. And I cannot tell a lie to my dear wonderful husband.

I showed him the darkest test I had taken to date that was from the afternoon of 6dp5dt. He was shocked. He said “wow! There really is a line there. Usually, when you show me those I have to squint to see the line.” He got in the shower, I went and got my trusty sidekick, my pee cup.

I took a digital. I am scared of digitals. I try not to take them because of those ugly, ugly words “NOT PREGNANT!”

But what to my wondrous surprise might appear? The word PREGNANT! I screamed, pretty loud. Loud enough that poor M in the shower almost had a heart attack and opens the shower door with soap all over his face and one I cracked. Sorry babe!

I had my first Beta today at 8dpt5d (or 13dpo). Which is actually a day early, but if we had done it tomorrow by second one would have been on Saturday and chances are the lab wouldn’t get the results to the docs office before noon, when they close on Saturday. I was hoping for anything over a 50. One day early, I knew it could be on the lower end, but was really rooting for over 50.

It was a 93! At 13dpo! When I had my ectopic it was a 14 and 14dpo. So a 93 was music to my ears.
So, the question is really; Is it my turn? I am sincerely hoping so. I am ready for my sunshine and rainbows. Preferably a Rainbow baby if possible. The whole thing is honestly feel very surreal. I am not sure what to think or feel. I really want this to be my Rainbow baby. But I know there are still so many hurdles to cross. I still have to have a good Beta on Friday. I then need to see a hb. We then have to make it past the 13 week point. The first trimester is going to be hard on me, but for the chance that this might be real. I am willing to deal with it.

Thinking of you all and praying for all my online friends fertile and infertile alike. I am really hoping for some BFPs this summer. Sticky ones at that!

DisneyWorld

I never did tell you about our trip to Disney and it has been more than a month since we have been back. Oops!

It was a great trip; lots of fun with the family. We stayed at the Animal Kingdom’s Kidani Village; which was incredible. The room was gorgeous. Though be forewarned if you stay in a studio the room is tiny and the kitchen essentially non-existent. The one-bedroom was incredible though. It said online that it could easy sleep five adults and it did, comfortably no less. Plus, a huge kitchen.

The biggest draw to the Animal Kingdom hotels is the “savannah view” rooms that overlook what is supposed to be an African Savannah. I read a lot of bad reviews about these rooms not being worth the extra cost. As far as I am concerned it was worth every penny. The animals were incredible! I have never sat out on my balcony and watched zebra, giraffes, antelope, etc run around before. They were so close it was just awesome. Something I would definitely recommend.

Lou and Bug (my niece, who went with us) enjoyed the rides for the most part, but truthfully, they would have been happiest staying at the pool everyday. They loved rides like Dumbo and Peter Pan. We made the mistake of taking them on The Haunted Mansion and to see A Bug’s Life. Those two did a number on Lou. She was pretty hesitant about doing anything after them and even screamed through the Seas with Nemo and Friends. The girls are just so different. Bug like anything with lots of stuff to look at but a tame ride; Pirates of the Caribbean was a favorite of hers. And she was actually pretty fine in The Haunted Mansion. She was pointing out things to me like the Cats in the cemetery etc. But she hated anything with exciting movement.

While Lou loved anything with exciting movement, Goofy’s Barnstormer roller coaster, Soarin, stuff like that she would have ridden on all day. Normally when she likes something she says “That was yummy in my tummy.” Peter Pan got a yummy. But when we got off of Soarin, she said “That was so awesome it almost made my head explode.” What?!?!? Where does she come up with this stuff? Bug on the other hand hated the roller coaster and Soarin.

The worst part of the trip was on Lou’s birthday. We had a wonderful breakfast with many of the Princesses. (Off topic ~ but how in the world I am going to beat this birthday in subsequent years?) The girls loved every minute of it. I am not sure I actually got any food into them. They loved it that much. After breakfast we took them on Nemo and Friends. When we came out, I went to get the strollers with my sister and left Lou and Bug with the rest of the group. While I was getting the stroller M comes over and starts talking to me. Not far behind him is my mom. As soon as I saw her I got a bad feeling. I asked her where Lou was and she said she thought she was with me. Needless to say things went a little crazy after that.

Every morning before we left the room, we put a little sensor on each of the girls’ shoes that would beep extremely loudly if the receiver was pushed. And we had each of them wear and ID bracelet with our phone numbers inside.

When we realized Lou was gone, I started pounding on my sister’s bag trying to set the stupid receiver off. After about 5 seconds of that and not hearing the receiver beep I just started running. At first, I wasn’t really worried. I thought she would be walking in circles of one of the planters or with my MIL (who really needs an adult to watch her~so isn’t much good when it comes to keeping track of Lou). She wasn’t in either of these places. We were all running all over looking for her. When we finally found her (I say finally, but it couldn’t have been more than 5 minutes from the time she wandered off) she was standing in a group of people about a football field from where she should have been, crying, holding up her arm and pointing at her bracelet saying “call my mommy.” She did exactly what she was supposed to do. Stop where she was and tell somebody to call us. The people hadn’t figured out what she was saying at that point. Just imagine a crying 4 year old. BUT the important things was she did what we had instructed her to do.

I was so calm the whole time, even after we found her, I was calm. Then I hugged her and I completely fell apart. I bawled my eyes out. I was crying so hard she was actually comforting me. I think before hugging her I was numb.

M and I had a hard time leaving her with any of our family the rest of the trip. I still have extreme anxiety whenever I think of it. My sister and my nieces’ aunt took all three of the girls to our local zoo the other day. Letting Lou go was so hard on me. I had so much anxiety worrying about her getting lost, but my sister was great and didn’t lose her and I think Lou learned a valuable lesson the day she got lost. Pay attention! She has a tendency to get wrapped up in something, that day it was a pixie stick, and not pay attention to what is going on around her.

The rest of the trip was a lot of fun. M & I still didn’t let anyone else watch Lou and it was actually easier to keep track of the girls after the rest of our family went back home. They all left on Tuesday and we stayed until Friday. The girls loved the pool at the hotel and they loved the characters. Overall, aside from losing Lou, it was a really wonderful trip.

FET

I did it. I had my transfer yesterday. Honestly, everything went well. Very similar to the first time. Luckily they only had to thaw two frosties to get two good ones. So I still have three left.

Which means we have one more shot after this and then..........well...... then I don't know. But I think we are probably done. We really can't spend the money for another fresh cycle. The cost is just too crazy for something that didn't work the first time.

For now I am just trying to relax and enjoy the time I am on bed rest. It is actually kind of hard for me. I am not a huge fan of just lying in my bed all day. I am not even supposed to sit up. I am supposed to just lie here. I can't even scan the pics of my embabies for you all.

Speaking of my embabies, they don't look like my fresh ones. They look a little sad. Doc T and the embryologist said that was completely normal. What matters is how well they thawed (great) how they looked before thaw (good) and that they are growing again prior to transfer (awesome). So I guess things are looking good from that point of view.

Since I named the last ones. I told Matt he should name these two. He decided they are Burt and Ernie. As long as they stick and are healthy and happy they can be anything they want!

L's Hair

I am just posting this now, because I have really been struggling with it. At the begining of March, my beautiful Little girl chopped off all her hair. The first picture is the before. The 2nd is the after. I will be honest, it is growing on me, but I still miss her long hair. I miss the ease of styling it, and I miss her not having bangs. I will admit that I love, love, love the 2nd picture of her. My mom was actually in the picture, but I cropped her out, becuase I loved the pic of L so much. Sorry mom!

Does anyone know any tricks to make hair grow faster? Or could you just make time go faster so that it grows out? Ahhh………the joys of parenting a preschooler.