TTC #2 - Again

Once we got the go ahead from my OB and my RE to TTC again, we did. It was one of those decisions that was really hard to make. Should I not have another child? Is that what God is telling me? Or is he saying the opposite? Now is not your time, but don’t give up? I didn’t know, but I knew I really needed to try.

In June we did our 4th medicated IUI with our 2nd HCG trigger. We conceived AGAIN. Unfortunately, this one was Ectopic. My first Beta was only 14. My 2nd two days later was 100. Neither very good. We got our BFP on a Friday, the following Thursday we were leaving for Mexico for two weeks. My doc recommended I not go because he had a bad feeling about the low HCG levels and it was too early to see anything on U/S. I opted to go anyway and lined up a doc where we were going to be. At 5w6d we saw her and had an U/S. She at first said she saw a sac in my uterus, imagine my relief and surprise, but then she decided to do a trans-vaginal U/S and thought she saw something in my left tube. WTH? She had no idea what she was seeing. The next day I had some pretty severe pain, I thought I had a Kidney stone it was that painful. I opted to go home and not back to the Mexican doctor, who wanted to admit me to the hospital and do surgery. M and I got on the first plane out the next day and left L in Mexico with my family.

We drove straight from the airport to my docs office and low and behold it was ectopic, with quite a large amount of blood in my abdomen, but it had not ruptured at that point. We opted to have the methotrexate shots. It took more than two weeks with a ton of pain, but it ended. Oddly, this loss wasn’t as devastating as the first. I am not sure why, maybe it was that I never had a chance to get “attached.” Maybe it was that it was too soon after my first loss. Maybe it was because I was concerned about physically surviving that I didn’t have time to dwell on the emotional. Who knows.

In September I had another HSG. My left tube was blocked. My RE recommended IVF.