I don’t know. Next month will be the three year mark of TTCing baby number 2 for us. How long can we go on like this? One thing I know, is that no matter what the future holds, I will be happy! I have an incredible daughter, husband and extended family. I am already incredibly blessed.
I think we will transfer our frosties. If we are lucky we will get two transfers out of the five frosties we have. (Though, lucky isn’t really our thing. So I doubt that.) We should at least get one transfer and then I think we are done. We can’t spend the money for another fresh cycle. We have spent, with meds, about $17,000 so far. I can’t justify spending it again. The thought that we might not have another child breaks my heart, but at the same time I have to let go at some point. I say all of this now, but I realize it could change after we transfer our frosties. I am going to take it one day at a time for now.
It looks like we are going to do our frozen transfer at the beginning of May end of April. I need to schedule my follow-up appointment and find out exactly what the schedule is, but it looks like I won’t be having a 2010 baby after all.
We could
cycle sooner, but we need the break. We are going to take L to Disney World for her 4th birthday in April and when we return we will cycle. I have been wanting to take her for a while, but we just couldn’t get the timing to work. I wanted to take her in Jan before we cycled, but we couldn’t swing the time off. Today I BOOKED it. It is irreversible. We are going to Disney World!
I don’t want to cycle before our trip, because who wants to do Disney pregnant? I also need some time to lose the ridiculous amount of weight I gained during this cycle. The last year has been very difficult. I need some time to just be.
I haven’t had a vacation since December of 08 that wasn’t tainted by all of the loss. Our annual Cabo trip was ruined by the ectopic. Our trip to the Bahamas was ruined by the loss of my son a few weeks prior to the trip. I need a vacation that can be a vacation without having to focus on all of this; without grieving, without pain.
Thank you all for all of your support through-out this process so far; a special thanks to Sonya your friendship has been invaluable. Knowing I had you all standing behind me, cheering for me was an incredible feeling. Thank you. I hope you will continue to follow my journey and keep in touch.
I think we will transfer our frosties. If we are lucky we will get two transfers out of the five frosties we have. (Though, lucky isn’t really our thing. So I doubt that.) We should at least get one transfer and then I think we are done. We can’t spend the money for another fresh cycle. We have spent, with meds, about $17,000 so far. I can’t justify spending it again. The thought that we might not have another child breaks my heart, but at the same time I have to let go at some point. I say all of this now, but I realize it could change after we transfer our frosties. I am going to take it one day at a time for now.
It looks like we are going to do our frozen transfer at the beginning of May end of April. I need to schedule my follow-up appointment and find out exactly what the schedule is, but it looks like I won’t be having a 2010 baby after all.
We could
cycle sooner, but we need the break. We are going to take L to Disney World for her 4th birthday in April and when we return we will cycle. I have been wanting to take her for a while, but we just couldn’t get the timing to work. I wanted to take her in Jan before we cycled, but we couldn’t swing the time off. Today I BOOKED it. It is irreversible. We are going to Disney World!I don’t want to cycle before our trip, because who wants to do Disney pregnant? I also need some time to lose the ridiculous amount of weight I gained during this cycle. The last year has been very difficult. I need some time to just be.
I haven’t had a vacation since December of 08 that wasn’t tainted by all of the loss. Our annual Cabo trip was ruined by the ectopic. Our trip to the Bahamas was ruined by the loss of my son a few weeks prior to the trip. I need a vacation that can be a vacation without having to focus on all of this; without grieving, without pain.
Thank you all for all of your support through-out this process so far; a special thanks to Sonya your friendship has been invaluable. Knowing I had you all standing behind me, cheering for me was an incredible feeling. Thank you. I hope you will continue to follow my journey and keep in touch.
2 comments:
I am so sorry your cycle didn't work and I know how hard trying for a baby is. I had tried for over 3 years for my first and during that time I had 1 miscarriage and 2 ectopics. When trying for my second I had one miscarriage and one failed frozen cycle. I convinced my husband to let us do one more fresh cycle. (I am 40) and I am now pregnant with my second. It was our last chance. We have also spent a ton of money trying (all out of pocket) and I just tell myself that the money laterin life won't replace the life I need to live.
Good luck!
(((Tracy)))
I am deeply moved by your strength. Booking the trip to Disneyland with your family was one of the most healthy, selfless things possible. It's a wonderful way to focus on what you have, and not be mourning something you don't. I know that everyone will tell you to be happy that you have your daughter, and they're right, but just because we have a baby, it doesn't decrease the desire and love we have waiting for another one. Sometimes I wonder if it makes it a little worse, because we KNOW what we are missing.
There are tons of FET succuss stories. TONS of them. You never know how many of your embies will survive, chances are 3 or 4! You might have chances for two FETs and end up wiht three kids. And there's always the relax, have sex and OMG I'm pregnant scenario.
Don't give up... You've done everything right so far and still have a great chance of being a mommy again.
Post a Comment