I went into today with little to no expectations. I tested yesterday, and it was the same line as the day before. I even cried on my way home from Beta.
Of course, I got the call as I was pulling out of the driveway on the way to a meeting that I could not miss. It was Doctor T. My beta was a 1. Yep that’s right, FRER apparently picks up a 1. He wants me to stay on the PIO and estrace until Friday and do another Beta then, just to be sure I don’t have a very late implanter. But there really isn’t any hope.
The hardest part about the call was that he kept apologizing. He really thought this was going to work. At least 5 times in the call he said how sorry he was and that he really wasn’t expecting this. Me either. I really thought it was gonna work.
Why didn’t it? Maybe I really am not supposed to have anymore kids. I feel a huge sense of loss. It is almost like I had a miscarriage. It really, really hurts. I thought I would handle it better. But I don’t think I realized how attached I would become to my embryos. I am just so sad and disappointed.
I will post more later about our plans for the future, etc. For now I need to go cuddle with L.
The Walking Dead 6x09 Session 6 Episode 9
10 years ago
3 comments:
Tracy, I'm sorry the cycle didn't work. You still have plenty of chances, don't give up.. trust me... don't give up. I know this is hard, but you can pull through this. I'm here for you always.
Sonya
I am so sorry!! I know how it feels to have a failed cycle. Hoping you can pull through this soon! You still have 5 frozen and that is awesome!!
I am so sorry your first IVF didn't work but I in no way think you should give up. If it is something you really want (and I believe that it is based on everything you've shared) you should hold your head up, stare bravely ahead and welcome IVF #2. Often the things that we want most don't come easily, not even with IVF. Be strong, be persistant and be positive in your quest for your next beautiful child. You can do this...
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